Taking everything in consideration I truly believe that we all have suffered somewhat this year of 2020. I would never expect anything differently though nor would I ever want to just assume we all are all in the same boat. Yet, currently I do feel that with 90% we are all in some kind of shit. Even if we don’t think we are. We are. That’s alright though. We can all turn to one another and gain that respect.

Really we all have something weighing us down. Trying to really judge anyone is not on my agenda. Even know I have in the past it’s always been in jest. Joking. I know I crack jokes that are inappropriate however, I believe it’s more of a defense mechanism. Could it be Your Mama jokes in middle school? Maybe. It also may go back to seeing horror movies like Friday the 13th at age 7. That kind of era I grew up in was you have to be a man. So in some ways I feel laughing at death, violence and social anxiety to be highly appropriate. Of course that makes me weird especially by today’s standards. I can totally have empathy to what goes on. Yet in my reality horrors have always existed as this is human nature by default to agree to disagree.  I personally feel laughter is the best key to life.  I can be serious although I like not to be as much as possible. I guess that is where Dan B. Dead my alter ego Zombie Comedian was born out of. All of us I think we have an idea what our Utopia’s may be yet in reality our utopia’s may be naive not realizing that there are always variables that will make it a nightmare. Seriously for someone else your utopia could be pretty crappy. I have started acquiring more of this perspective of knowledge this year by more of a self reflective way. I’m trying to see how deciphering the teaching’s within the tales of the likes of Arabian Nights and other folklore may actually relate to my own life and why I think the way I do. It could be these cartoons in my head on how I have always related it to real life. It was my mythology. Teachings through art. We always should be careful on what we wish for though.

I personally dream big and realize my bucket list of projects now in need of my full attention and almost all of my energy. Obviously not all of my energy as I believe it will be a fine act of juggling that will go into this process. Somewhat like clockwork or a beautifully arranged symphony. I guess that’s why I do believe slow and steady will always when races in the end. It’s this wisdom and patience that will make you truly appreciate it all. Any life worth living is worth balancing as much as possible. Always allowing time to work, play, family, friends, nature, learning, and even time to yourself. It is the art of being consistent and if you can balance that with a schedule and a forgiveness to yourself. I truly believe you can create your life to a philosophy of really being free or at least feeling free by your standards. Through this self reflection I am hitting nothing but stars from here on out. Not like that is a new belief. I always knew I could. It was more of spreading myself a little too thin on other things that took away from my path. I think Pinnochio was put into that situation once or twice. Even Adam and Eve fell victim to some of these supposed acts of life. I can’t say that any of those other things were a wrong decision. It is really just what I consider life decisions. You know those things in life that we think we have control of even if we really have no control of it at all. Which is the only reason how my new on life looks or even exists.

I used to say I could never be an astronaut however that is a lie. In reality I only have an emotional scar from watching the Challenger blow up live while at school. I’d have to do the math but I think I was in 4th grade for temporary purposes we will not hold me to that age. My age and time frame does seem to be always blurry as I have felt I’ve lived 3 lives so far. At any rate if I can look back at everything I’ve already experienced in different aspects being launched into space should really be a piece of cake. Not saying I want to. However, I’m sure I can. So if I can see myself in space we can all see our own dreams of making anything possible. Even through the hurdles we all get in life to test us. I know everyday becomes better if you finish the day accomplishing just one thing for yourself. Some days do seems easier than other and that’s for sure. So take those hurdles in stride and stay focused is key. So set those goals for you that seem out there and all that happiness will come regardless. What levels of success and happiness is up to you by how much time applying the energy you put in. The more you put in the more you will get. I do admit that hard work will always pay off in the long run as long as you have the faith in what you do. Even if the smallest success trying to find that happiness only occupied your time doing something that you love

. Just notes of my observations and thoughts I have acquired this year by self reflecting and being honest with myself.

I may not always agree with those who practice believing in something like a God. However, to have morals, understanding, compassion and forgiveness are good things to reflect upon especially while looking at one’s self in the mirror. I know I do. May you all continue Livin’ the Dream. Sincerely Me aka Jeffery Page

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